Hey sweaty freaks! I’m going to tell you how to apply antiperspirant deodorant properly. It’s going to be hard, it’s going to be grueling, it’s going to be a whole lot of bloody work. You ready? Buckle in…
Put it on before you go to bed at night.
I know, I know. It’s so hard to rearrange your schedule so you can move those 20 seconds in the morning to your evening routine. You might have to multi-task. You might even have to sacrifice a bit of sleep. It’s a hard life, being sweaty.
Why the hell does putting it on at night make it work better, anyway? There are theories about how aluminium hates the burning light of the sun, and theories about how sweat glands are nocturnal creatures who communicate via moonbeams. There’s also a wildly implausible theory that antiperspirant works by forming plugs in your pores to block sweat from coming out – if you apply it and sweat immediately, the active ingredients get flushed out by your sweat before they have time to form plugs. (Nah, that doesn’t sound right. It’s definitely a moonbeam thing.)